I Am Here for You
Saturday, April 3rd, 2010
by Ronna Case
Breath prayers and yoga stretches brought me out of a melt-down last Friday. I’d been tearing my hair out and crying, really, with computer frustration for some minutes, when I thought: Do yoga! So I did and I felt like I’d been welcomed home!
It was amazing, like docking my boat or finding my mate. Dare I call it an encounter with “God”? It felt divine. I felt the Divine encountering me, welcoming me, loving me, forgiving me. The wonder and quiet joy of it surprised me. Doing maybe ten sequences I had distracting thoughts as before, but fewer. And when I stopped, I felt rested and hopeful and cleaner.
I realized, then, that I had been weeping not just because of narcissistic ego wounds related to my lack of computer skills. I’d been crying for other reasons as well. The night before, at a community garden meeting, I’d heard that a man I’d met last summer has been kicked out of the garden. He’d offended nearly every gardener there, trying to be garden manager. Lacking the gift of hospitality, he tended to be critical and seemed a discontented human being, who didn’t like children to be in the garden. Though we are relieved he won’t be in the garden this summer, a few of us also feel so sad for him because it was his sacred place, his garden of Eden. I also felt sorry for myself, because the guy lives in my neighborhood and is a member of gym I use! I’m bound to see him before too long. What can I possibly say?
And my friend Guadalupe had called from Mexico City earlier that morning. She was crying, which she’s never done before. She said she had an acute health crisis and no extra money for the doctor. She spent the “extra” last month on her daughter’s health problem. She was so scared and embarrassed to have to call for help again. Fortunately there were some things I could do, including praying with her on the phone. Some of my tears were for her, a widow who was denied a pension after her husband, a bookmaker, died several years ago. She lives with 5 adult children who have poorly paying jobs and is my scared friend.
During and after breath prayers and yoga stretches, I could see my melt-down in the bigger context. I felt less unbalanced for weeping with computer frustration; that was just “the last straw.”
As we come to Holy Week and Passover, I want to say this Lenten practice, including blogging to you, has been a real blessing. I understand that I need to continue to pray and to stretch. I feel able to do that. It has begun to feel like a core practice, one that calls out to me saying, “I am here for you. Sincerely, God.”
Spiritually and physically the key is “strengthening my core.” Core strength comes from knowing God is there for me. It grows as I trust that the Holy Covenant community is there for me. And that I am there for me, in new spiritual practices that I mean to take with me, as I step into my day, my life, the Universe.





