Caught
by Jeffrey Dodson
So finally it happened.
I was caught.
I was sitting on the floor in my sunroom, practicing 10 minutes of silent meditation, and then in the midst of my Lenten practice I was caught. My roommate came home from running an early morning errand and my solitude in the apartment vanished. I heard Chris’s key rattle the door. The whole house is old, so the door, the walls, the stairs, and indeed the entire essence of the building creaked and groaned with his arrival.
I hadn’t told Chris that my Lenten practice this year was to meditate in the morning, and since this wasn’t a normal activity for me in the morning, I had some explaining to do.
I still had 5 minutes left in my practice. For the first time I found myself in an awkward situation. Should I abandon meditating and quickly clean up, pretending nothing was going on? Or should I push through the remainder of my time and then address the situation? I decided to just sit with myself, stick with the rest of my meditation and then offer an explanation to Chris.
After coming up the stairs, Chris set his stuff down on the floor and then turned and found me, sitting there on the floor with my legs crossed, silent in meditation, a burning candle and singing bowl sitting in front of me. He didn’t say anything, but continued to carry his things to the kitchen and unpack.
My aim of being silent and seeking inner peace during my meditation had been disrupted. It was hard to focus when Chris came through the door and up the stairs. All the noise of the house did very well to draw me out of my meditation, but I remembered to stick with the silence, to stay with myself. I understand that the goal of good mediation is to be able to say in a meditative state through all the chaos, to let the noise not disturb you.
I finished my meditation and rang my singing bowl three times – once for the Creator, twice for Christ, and three times for the Holy Spirit. I blew out the candle before me, stood up and put my things away. I found Chris in the kitchen and found myself trying to explain to him what he had seen, as if embarrassed. But really I should have done it to inform and educate him about what I was trying to do in my life with this Lenten practice.
To my surprise, he didn’t think it was strange, or weird, or that it even needed an explanation. He was supportive. It reminds me that so often in our lives we try to make an explanation for the many faith practices we hold, afraid that someone may judge us. But we may be surprised to discover who is supportive of our faith if we are willing to share. Even when caught in the act, we may discover something about ourselves, whether it be sticking with our practice when the world seeks to draw us out of it, or to find that others are more supportive of us than we would assume. Here’s to the journey inward.
Selah.
Tags: Jeffrey
