Fullness, without the Food
by Andrew Schumacher
I’ve now practiced my first mid-week day of fasting as part of my Lenten journey plan. In the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve also just finished a delicious dinner to break the fast. So I’m feeling pretty great right now… But back to the day-without-food thing.
First thing this morning, I opened my Bible instead of a box of Cheerios and came across this couple of verses from Luke 20:14-15:
“But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.”
For some reason the “make up your mind” part really jumped out at me. Make up your mind not to worry. Make up your mind to trust in God. Make up your mind to live differently according to Christ. Make up your mind to wake up in the morning and spend the first moments of the new day with God. I was reminded that practicing the things that lead to spiritual growth is ultimately a decision I make. If I made up my mind to truly be disciplined with my spiritual life the same way I was in college with academics or now am with my job, who knows where I might be. It’s a thought I’ve had before but was reminded of again this morning.
From a no-food perspective, my first fast of Lent went well I suppose. Make no mistake: I was hungry all day long. But somehow (I’m willing to say by the grace of God) I didn’t feel as hungry as I thought I might. For a guy who is known to sometimes have hunger pangs when lunch or dinner is delayed a few hours, I felt ok. Definitely less energy. But ok. This morning I asked God to sustain me through the day, and my prayer was certainly answered. I found that the constant hunger I felt all day seemed to make me more aware of my own existence, if that makes any sense. Maybe it was the lack of food or maybe it was the sense of purpose in carrying out my Lenten plan, but either way I think I had a little better sense of living in the moment.
When lunch rolled around, I remembered about the midday worship service the Chicago Temple holds on Wednesdays in the Loop. I used to attend those back when I was a regular Sunday attender at Chicago Temple but hadn’t been back for more than a year. With no lunch to snarf down, I decided to head over there. I arrived late but still caught the end of a very impassioned sermon a guest preacher was giving about the passage where Jesus weeps over the city of Jerusalem because they don’t know the things that make for peace. He got on a thing about how we as members of the city and of the church are to be ambassadors of Christ. When I graduated from college with my newly minted marketing degree, I was big on the idea of being a “missionary to the marketplace” in my new job. I know I’ve fallen short of what God could do through me in that capacity, and so it was a good reminder to hear. The service ended with some awesome classical guitar music, and I lingered, thanking God for bringing me to this place.
On the way home from work, I did have a bit of time to stop at Holy Covenant where the sanctuary is specially open on Wednesdays during Lent from 5:30 to 7 for prayer. There were a few other folks around, but at one point I found myself all alone. I was cold (radiators hadn’t kicked in yet) and very hungry, and yet I was reminded of how much I enjoy just hanging out at “home” in a faith community. Again, I was thankful for being in that moment, cold, hunger, and all.
So, it was a full day. In the midst of not eating, I managed to insert three installments of (what I’ll call) “spiritual time” that normally wouldn’t be a part of my day. Was I particularly open to hearing God? I don’t know. It didn’t really feel like it. I think I was hoping for more ah-ha moments or something. I guess we all kind of yearn for that sort of thing. But that’s not really fair to God I suppose. It was a day of fullness. God sustained me through the day on this first step of my Lenten journey. And for that I am very thankful.
Tags: Andrew
