Great Things
by Vicky Nabors
I have a passion for writing, but writing my blog entry this week has been difficult. I had nothing to say, I’m honestly tired of blogging. It feels like I’m beating a dead horse. Why, because my Lenten journey started at a depth never expected, and then quickly traveled to painful places never imagined. I’m tired of talking about it now, and am simply coasting to the end of my wilderness journey with a lighter load and a smile. It’s a beautiful thing because the sun is shining in my soul.
Praise be to God.
Did I stop cursing, H*## NO! It was never my intention to stop cursing. In my professional area (human communications), it’s believed that words have no meaning until meaning is assigned to them (via intentions). And like most folks, I use strong language when feeling strong emotions. “Fudge” just doesn’t cut when I’m feeling … ahhh!!! That would be like asking for a cup of mild roast coffee when I’m actually feeling a double shot of whiskey.
So, the source of my strong emotions was my true focus. Therefore, I was not giving up anything, I was taking on. Some question I asked myself was: What really contributed to my overwhelming feeling of anger, darkness, frustration, and defeat? Why couldn’t I find happiness in my soul? And how were these debilitating feelings preventing me from getting closer to God?
In an amusing way, I feel like I’ve done a bit of psychotherapy on myself. Guess I should send myself a bill for my services – LOL.
I know I previously stated how difficult it was to share my personal reflection during my Lenten walk in the wilderness; but I was just posturing. People are so deeply private with how they suffer. One thing I’ve learned in my life is that human suffering is more alike than different; but in sharing we support, learn, and heal. However, I am selective in how and where I openly share my struggles; don’t want to run people away.
So here I am today, a week and a half away from the end of my wilderness journey. I can only share my exhilaration with you. You see, I was born into prayer – a PK (pastor’s kid). My elder family members (grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts) modeled prayer to the younger family members morning, noon, and night, during prayer services, Bible study, church services, you name it … we prayed. As a result, my cousins and I mimicked what we saw and heard, and eventually developed our own spiritual awareness of a higher power. Thus, I’ve enjoyed a close relation with God my entire life; he has been my constant comforter. Still, I suspected that something was keeping me from getting even closer – that pure happiness. Got it! Hmph, guess I actually did have something to blog about this week … go figure!
In closing, I want to share a wonderful celebration song; I love it! It’s my sister’s choir in Grand Rapid, MI singing behind Ken Reyonolds as he records his CD, “Great Things.” If you watch carefully, you’ll see my sister. She’s the first extreme close up shot of the singers on mic (wearing all black by band).
Enjoy and God Bless.
Tags: Vicky
