I write this from a desk that has now become a makeshift music studio. I am surrounded by blinking lights, knobs and switches. Wires snake around each other on the way to their destinations. I have spent the past few days getting lost in the signals they send. This is not the first time this has happened, but it is the first time in a long time. And I am remembering why I enjoy it so much.
I have recorded snippets of this and that for the past 20 years. Much of it is nothing more than musical doodling; there is very little of it that I’d be comfortable sharing with anyone. This has always been the tension for me. I have often felt like I have to justify exercising my creativity and imagination. I feel like it has to be meaningful to someone else to be worth the time; profitable for myself or those for whom I work. If if has no meaning or purpose beyond me, it seems like a waste of time. (I know, very Protestant of me.)
This year, I am going to work on being OK with wasting time in this way. Because, if I “waste” time doing what I love and what makes my heart glow with joy, it is at least a holy waste of time. If it brings me joy, it originated from the source of joy. If it makes me live, it originates from the source of life. I don’t need to justify living as God made me.
Do what you love, friends. Do what gives you meaning. Do what makes you resonate with the song of your heart. It isn’t a waste. It is God in you.
I resolve to discover and be who I am in 2012, and to love you enough to walk with you as you do the same. Let me know how I can do that for you!
Until then, the headphones are going back on. (Wait, what? Did you say something?)