May 23 Storytelling Service: Teddy Jay
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I am thankful to have one of the most hilarious women you’ll ever meet in my life. I’d consider her one of my very best friends and someone who I’ve shared my life with in many ways in recent years. She, like all of my other friends knows the ins and outs of my character, can tell when something’s bothering me and shares my triumphs and happiness in life. She just happens to be almost 70 years my senior.
I met Gert in the spring of 2006, as I assumed a position at a Retirement Community in Oak Park. During my first weekend rotation, I was conducting room checks where I walk the floors to make sure everyone is doing well and to note any physical plant issues with the building. I remember seeing Gert’s door, which is still decorated the same way today. While most residents have a nice wreath or a welcome neighbor sign conveniently placed on their doors, Gert’s had a giant Marine Corp seal in the middle of her door, a license plate that said “French Quarter, New Orleans” and a small wooden plaque that read the following: You don’t stop laughing because you get old. You get old because you stop laughing. How true, I thought, and how cool must this person be? I had no idea.
Gertrude might be the oldest person on facebook. Though she calls it facespace, as she used to have a myspace account and gets them confused. About a year ago Gert started wanting to check her facespace every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I’m not sure when I assumed the role, but it quickly became obvious to her that I was the one who had the patience and the time to sit and work with her on the computer as often as she needed. Over the last year we’ve got her more involved on facebook, email and even started a blog. She has countless old students she tought in grammar school, messaging her on a weekly basis. These meetings became not only avenues in which Gert could connect herself to people online, but time for the both of us to sit and talk about whatever topics were heavy on our minds and hearts. The list of topics we’ve talked about over the past year or so is endless, with theology and God on the top of the list.
Born and raised in a large Irish Catholic family, Gert has wrestled over the years with her faith and relationship with God. We’ve talked about many things, like her being forced into the convent at age 17, as all good Irish Catholic families had to have a nun. But at one point I knew our relationship had grown and changed when she disclosed to me that her only brother Jimmy died in 1988 of AIDS. He was an accomplished Catholic priest, who I have come to know as someone who truly was led by the spirit to do great things for his community. Gertrude knows this, but his destiny to her remained uncertain. She told me at one point, she was worried he didn’t make it to heaven. She had no problem with the fact that he was gay or that he didn’t remain celibate as a priest. But she was worried that in the end, it mattered a great deal to god.
A few months ago, my roommate and I picked Gert up and brought her to Holy Covenant. She and Matt, a seminary student at the University of Chicago, had a lengthy conversation about religion that day, and specifically spoke of her brother. Matt had a lot of helpful words for her and was able to answer many more of her questions, specifically about what Jesus would have said about her brother. As a seminary student, and a rather gifted intellect, he was able to answer some of those biblical questions a bit more clearer than I could. She loved her experience here at Holy Covenant and thought that it’s wonderful that there are churches who are intentionally about loving all people. I can’t think of a time in my life, where the spirit was more present than that day.
We got home that day and later Gert called me and said this: You know, I’ve been thinking all day. And I’m pretty sure Jimmy’s ok. I know God loves Jimmy the way God loves you. I just hope Jimmy died knowing that truth. I said back to her, with tears filling up in my eyes. I really do think Jimmy’s ok Gert and if he didn’t’ know that when he died, I think he found out quickly after that.
I’m running the Chicago Marathon this year in her brother’s name while raising money for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago.
I watched last night as 8 students came to her 97th birthday party bearing gifts, stories and pictures to share with a woman whom was clearly special to all of them. They came with messages from students who couldn’t make it, all sharing stories and praises of a woman who was one of the most important figures in their lives. Gert lit up like the sun last night.
The Holy Spirit is God’s leading, is God’s challenge and is God’s comfort. It is present in a 97 year old’s reconciliation of her faith and in the comfort and joy of students returning to tell an old teacher how important she was in their lives. But for me, the spirit is the breathe of our friendship, two seekers looking for answers to life’s questions, not always finding those answers, but finding friendship, love and compassion in another human being.
